Dr.Pimpin (Five Sentences)
Once upon a time there was a pimp starfish named Dr.Pimpin.Dr.Pimpin was king of a magickal kingdom located in a realm hidden in the ghetto between a liquor store and a strip club.
When his kingdom was attacked by an army of rebel hater pimps who wanted all of his swag for themselves, Dr.Pimpin had to find some brave knights to help protect his kingdom.
Dr.Pimpin then remembered that he was a star fish and that he had no way of leaving his kingdom to find knights to help him.
When the hater pimps attacked and all seemed lost Dr.Pimpin did the only thing he could think of, he dispensed his unlimited swagger in the form of a swagplosion turning all the hater pimps into starfish, and they all lived happily ever after.
The End.
Pimp Land (Six Sentences)
Once upon a time a theoretical brewologist working on a new form of interdimensional vodka threw up in an alley-way between a liquor store and a strip club in the ghetto.
His vomit containing the experimental vodka formed a magickal other dimension known as Pimp Land, where swag permeated the air and prostitutes grew on trees.
The Brewologist attempted to share his work with the scientific community, but for obvious reasons no one believed him.
In order to convince the scientific community of his discovery he attempted to travel into the magickal dimension and document his travel as evidence of his achievement.
After entering the magickal kingdom the brewologist was overcome with swag, unable to handle the massive amounts of swag in his human form he transformed into a sessile starfish preventing him from sharing his achievement with the world.
With his new swagilicious transformation the brewologist, Dr.Pimpin, became king of Pimp Land, and lived happily ever after.
The End.
Dr.Pimpin and Adventures in Pimp Land by Nicholas Alexander Benson is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
Pimp Land and Dr.Pimpin were Inspired By
- I thought it would be interesting to have a story based on what would happen if someone were to drink quantum foam which is the material that space-time itself is composed of.
- Having a very ghetto theoretical brewologist made the most sense for a story of this magnitude.
- http://www.technologyreview.com/view/422524/physicist-discovers-how-to-make-quantum-foam-in-a-test-tube/
The Dragon and the Princess
Once upon a time there was a castle in a far away kingdom guarded by a civilized dragon.
One day a knight came to the castle and attacked the dragon claiming to be there to "save the princess".
The dragon tried to tell the knight that there were no princesses there to be saved, but the knight insisted that there was a princess inside and that the dragon was keeping her hostage.
The dragon to settle the dispute allowed the knight to go inside the castle and see for himself that there was no princess.
The knight upon entering the castle found no princess but was astounded to find that the entire castle was filled with gold coins.
About an hour later the dragon became very suspicious and demanded that the knight leave the castle.
As the knight began to exit the castle the dragon noticed that the knight's stomach seemed to have expanded twice the size it had been before the knight had entered.
When the dragon confronted the knight about his sudden obesity the knight explained:
"I found the princess, she was quite delicious, thank you for the opportunity. I always wanted to eat a princess."
The dragon was horrified by the idea, it had never occurred to him that someone would want to eat a princess.
Confused and disgusted the dragon demanded the knight leave the castle immediately and with that the knight attempted to run as fast as he could away from the castle which to his dismay was extremely slow.
As time passed the dragon became increasingly disgusted by the knight and decided that the knight would be better off dead after what he had done to that poor princess.
Using his flame breath the dragon burned the knight alive, and where the dragon expected to see the bones of the princess mixed in with the knight's ashes he found the gold coins that the knight had consumed to steal from them from the castle instead.
The dragon picked up the gold and turned around to place it back in the castle when he noticed a princess approaching.
Curious the dragon asked what was the princess's business at the castle.
The princess replied:
"I simply smelled some freshly cooked knight meat, I was wondering if I could take some back to my kingdom for a feast?"
The dragon's jaw dropped in astonishment at the princess's statement.
The dragon utterly appalled replied:
"What is wrong with you people?! Princesses are supposed to be civilized not savage cannibals! Knights are supposed to chivalrous and heroic not lying thieves!"
The princess giggled before bursting into laughter at the dragon's bewilderment.
"What is it , what's so funny about this?!", the dragon exclaimed.
"Your one to talk, dragons are supposed to be murderous mindless monstrosities, not civilized curious creatures!", laughed the princess.
The dragon and the princess suddenly paused having now had an epiphany.
Suddenly realizing that the two had chosen the wrong career paths they decided to switch places.
With his civilized nature and compassion for the value of life, the dragon became the new princess of the land.
With her insatiable lust for the flesh of knights, the princess became the most ferocious dragon in the land.
Now happy in their new careers, the dragon and the princess lived happily ever after.
The Dragon and the Princess by Nicholas Alexander Benson is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
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